It occurred to me that the Internet even with all its dangers and worries about our children’s safety does have a silver lining. That silver lining is the awareness of the new “generational digital divide” which has occurred. The silver in the lining is we are sharing with each other (a collaborative effort among parents) and recognizing a new trend in parenting and the value of good communication with our children, something that has been unattended to for some reason.

Anne Collier has been bridging the generational digital divide for some time. As early as 1993, Anne recognized what the Internet had to offer and what concerns might attach themselves to the Internet. It was because of Anne’s watchful eye knowing the Internet was breaking new grounds and that she started Net Family News to keep parents and the community informed. Net Family News offered parents a resource for education, tips, and a way to connect to their savvy techno-teens.

Later Anne teamed up with Larry Magid and started Connect Safely. This web site provides a sounding board; a place for parents to have an actual discussion with authorities and other parents. Parents and teens can share stories with each other (communication) and with professionals.

“What comes to mind when you hear the phrase Responsible CyberCitizen?” Anne replied, “A safe cybercitizen because research shows that responsible behavior ups your chances of having a good constructive experience on the Internet, which applies to both youths and adults.”

Anne commented, what’s been written in the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescence Medicine is, “Youth who engage in online aggressive behavior by making rude or nasty comments, or frequently embarrassing others are more than twice as likely to report online interpersonal victimization.” According to Anne, what they are saying is, “If we’re responsible and accountable citizens, participants, of the participatory web, we take ownership and have and develop a sense of community about this space, we will be much safer.”

There’s become a disinhibition and what we need to realize is online and offline is real life. In real life during normal conversations, we see each other’s cue, our body language, a sense or feel for one another. Unfortunately, on the Internet we don’t, that’s why it’s important to understand there are real people behind those avatars.

“This is about real life, not technology; we are real human beings in common with one another and when we understand that, we will start taking back ownership of the Internet”, said Anne.

After many years of research and looking at the data, we’re realizing that the predator panics, moral panics, and the technology panics are not based on reality. Data shows that the offline world behavior is not much different than the online world. In other words those teens that are known as high risk are more likely to fall prey to the dangers of the Internet. These children are the ones we need to worry about and monitor.

Actually, the majorities of teens are safe online and know how to be safe. Most predators online don’t lie about their age, and most teens know they are talking to an older adult. It’s the high risk teens that are most susceptible and are going after these relationships and they’re not being deceived. The predators use the information they get from the teens to exploit their vulnerabilities. The teens are desperately seeking support and validation. This is the time when monitoring software is vitally important.

Not having good data and statistics, the news media, shows like “To Catch a Predator”, MySpace coverage, along with midterm elections and politicians championing their cause for children’s safety on the Internet, all created a buzz and sensationalism. We need to pay more attention to at risk teens and their behavior. That’s not to say we assume other teens don’t need any guidance, however; chances are if you haven’t had a disconnect because of technology and the Internet and you have an open line of communication with your children, then it’s more than likely your teens will be a lot safer on the Internet.

We also talked with Anne about her thoughts on the virtual worlds, mobile phones, and online gaming industry. When it comes to mobile phones, WOW, Xbox Live, etc. these are not the babysitters, and parents who turn off their parental antennas run the risk of their child making a mistake. Just an FYI – with the game WOW, be aware of individuals that may be offering your child “leveling” (weapons) or being overly nice to your child by giving gifts ( used in the game). It may be someone trying to groom them.

Parents should be aware the brain development for the pre-frontal cortex, which is the executive part of the brain, isn’t finished until approximately twenty years of age. It’s the part of the brain which deals with impulse control, cause and effect, the principal tasks. These are the times for adolescent risk assessments and a time for parents to be there, not to remove all risks, but to guide and allow your child to make mistakes and learn consequences.

If your child makes a mistake don’t over react, don’t be afraid that you’re not tech savvy, and when you ask, be curious not confrontational, you may send your teen underground. Chances are you won’t be able to band them from the Internet, kids have work-arounds; they’ll find another access, and you won’t know it, leaving them a bit more vulnerable.

Parents have life-literacy and our kids have tech-literacy. It’s our job as parents to impart as much life literacy into our kids as possible, hence; securing a better and safer online Internet experience.

We talked about CyberBullying and identified three common threads of what constitutes CyberBullying. Part of it is establishing the pecking order and preventing it being transferred into cyberspace. A good lesson in civility goes a long way in helping to eliminate CyberBullying.

Online security or online safety shouldn’t be thought of as separate from offline, its part of your child’s life, as parents we should learn a little bit about social networks and what your kids are doing. Ask them how they use the social network sites, have them help you set up a site, and be involved as much as you are offline.

Make a difference in your children’s life, be an example of civil behavior, civil engagement, and show care about your community. Help develop the filter between your child’s ear with good behavior, online citizenship, and being a Responsible CyberCitizen. We are not anonymous; we are all human beings with feelings. We need to teach our kids to be Responsible CyberCitizens.